Sunday, August 4, 2013

Congress Party To Adopt 'Left Hand' Symbol In Elections

By Paagal Patrkaar / Delhi

In a move that has left all the political opponents baffled, Congress has submitted an application to the Election Commission of India requesting permission to use the left hand as a legitimate party symbol.

Congress was earlier using its right hand.

“This will silence all those who had been accusing Congress of not changing anything in the country,” party spokesperson Manish Tewari claimed, “This is a big ticket reform and will usher the nation into a new era.”
Tewari further disclosed that the ground breaking idea was proposed by party Vice President and youth icon Rahul Gandhi.

“Indians are 10% left-handed,” Rahul explained, “I mean, 10% of the Indians are left-handed. Not many parties have been taking care of this minority group, so we have taken a lead.”

When this writer pointed out that it was just a token step and didn’t really mean anything, he was asked to leave the press conference. Later this reporter apologized and promised to take notes with his left hand for the rest of the presser.

Rahul Gandhi further claimed that a left hand as election symbol will also symbolize party’s left bias in policy matters, which should attract a clear and loud support from intellectuals like Amartya Sen.

“Our left hand too will be with the common man,” the young Gandhi clarified.

Party’s announcement was met with mixed reactions. While many “neutral” commentators on Twitter termed it as a historic step, leaders from the opposition termed it as another hogwash by the Congress.

“Congress should forget about the common man. Common man has is holding a broom in both the hands,” Aam Aadmi Party leader Arvind Kejriwal said.

“You know why they changed hand? Because their right hand was so dirty with corruption that they can’t go to people asking for vote using the same hand. And I am sure if they manage to win coming election, they will get back with right hand as party symbol,” Kejriwal further claimed.

A BJP leader claimed that Congress had paid a foreign brand consulting firm a whopping 300 crore rupees to get ideas on new symbol, and all they got was a mirror image of their earlier symbol.

“This is a new scam,” the BJP leader claimed. Party however refused to comment on reports that suggested that BJP too is thinking of changing its symbol.

Sources claim that BJP is considering adding a few more petals to its election symbol lotus flower. The party hopes to add a few NDA allies through this step.

Other parties too are mulling similar actions, sources say. There is speculation that BSP, which appeared to have peaked to its maximum potential in the last elections, is planning to change its election symbol to a baby elephant so that the party can grow fast.

Samajwadi Party too is considering the tri-cycle as its new symbol. It should be noted tri-cycle is easier to drive on sandy soil than a bicycle. Party denied that sand mafia was behind this move.

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