EDITOR'S CUT: THE VOO-ZOO OUR NETAS DO IN INDIA

By M H Ahssan / Hyderabad

The PM wanted animal spirits unleashed – they’re prowling but inside a political zoo! Cynics who say politics is birds of a feather flocking together – you’re right! Repeated corruption scandals under UPA-II led birdwatchers to ponder vultures darkening our political skies. But it took the Supreme Court to observe the fluttering of another bird. Demanding explanations about the CBI sharing its Coalgate report with then law minister Ashwani Kumar, the apex court noted the CBI’s resemblance to a caged parrot. For citizens wondering if that means making like a birdbrain, sure, but they could also compare the super-sleuths to trickster totas, trained to pick some cards and ignore the rest. 
The biting observation didn’t leave the CBI cheerily chirping. But more falls from the sky followed when a Central Administrative Tribunal bench proclaimed the IB behaved like a chicken. Tarred and feathered with such criticism, little wonder our investigative agencies have since tried to prove they’re not ostriches with their heads stuck in the sand, but actually righteous roosters whose calls can de-Rail the mighty. 
    
But not everyone cheered as the CBI shook the handles on its cage. Instead, as the probe into the Sohrabuddin fake encounter moved towards BJP leader Gulab Chand Kataria, the BJP angrily claimed the CBI’s new birdsong was just an old one, dressing political vendettas in varying feathers. 
    
And more clucks followed when Prime Minister Manmohan Singh extended congratulations to Pakistan’s new leader, Nawaz Sharif. No retiring mynah, Narendra Modi bit sharply into the borderline love-nest, slamming what he called the PM’s chicken biryani diplomacy. Delicious though that sounds, a little bird says Modi meant this as a non-veg taunt, leaving the Congress choking on its piece, sorry peace. 
    
But there’s no stopping these political flights, er, fights. Picking one in Nitish Kumar’s zone of the zoo, Bihar politician Lalu Prasad grandly announced Nitish was simply the RSS’s pet parrot. His birdie-wordiness aside, Lalu introduced his own family flock to political life, Lalu’s little ones ready to glide. Let’s see if this brood can fly the RJD out of the political wilderness shared with the cows of a certain shadowy fodder scam. 
    
But our politicos’ jungle raj doesn’t consist only of feathery fluff which they try pulling over everyone’s eyes. There’s occasionally a four-legged animal in this stable too. And before you can say hee-haw, wait, we mean a goat! Specifically the safed bakra former rail minister Pawan Kumar Bansal was reportedly praying to on the day he got the sack. 
    
It appears the goat wasn’t keen on being just a sacrificial cheese and didn’t go the whole hog in helping Bansal get back on track. Perhaps our politicos should steer clear of enterprises that finally need goats to intervene. But that’s advice you can go give the birds – the ones flying outside this political zoo.